Friday, May 12, 2017

Just give me some feedback......

Readers who have joined my blog recently may not be aware that in addition to filling the blogosphere with my ponderings on kids and education, I also run a teeny-tiny tutoring business. It's called Exploring All Options. I spend at least an hour a week with each student doing whatever I can to make the experience of school less stressful for them. Once we reduce the stress, I then work alongside the student to ensure they start experiencing success in school.

It amazes me that teenagers are willing to come and sit at my dining table and tell a middle-aged woman, whom they've never met before, about how the experience of school makes them feel. It shows how much struggling students are willing to accept help, if only educators have the time to give them that support.

My first session with every student starts the same.
Louise: "Sooooo, tell me how you feel about school?"
Student: Looks down, mumbles
Louise: "I really want to know - tell me - what's it like?"
Student: It's hard/frustrating/I find it stressful/I can't keep up/I hate reading
The list goes on.

Louise: "Tell me about your favourite teacher?"

I loooove asking this question.
It tells me so much about the student.
It tells me about how they learn best.
It tells me how they view school teachers.
It tells me what attributes they value in a teacher.
It tells me how I will be able to best support them in our sessions.

Recently, I encountered a new response, and I was so excited to hear it.

The student told me about a teacher he had who gave him written feedback on his English work. He would hand in his English pieces, the teacher would look at the work within a day or two, write comments on how he could improve his work and provide an indicative final mark for the work. Then the teacher would return it to the student and give him the chance to resubmit it, incorporating rewritten sections in response to their feedback. Then the teacher would go through the work again and give it a final mark.

GENIUS

1) Teacher teaches
2) Student produces work in response to teaching
3) Teacher looks at work and gives targeted feedback
4) Student learns from feedback and has another go
5) Teacher is able to measure student's performance based on his ability to learn and apply their teaching.

GENIUS

I want to find out the name of that teacher, enrol my child in that school and put in a request for that teacher to teach my child every year of their High School education. I hope they can teach Maths, History and Science too, because I'll be asking for them to teach my child in every subject.

I cannot tell you how much I long for all my students to receive timely feedback on their work. I spend so many sessions with my students, encouraging them as they work through tasks ready for submission and helping them prepare for tests to be completed the following day. Each week I will ask, Have you got that assignment back? How did you go in your test? We'll log on and see if grades have been listed.......nope, nothing yet. Sadly, by the time marks are received, we've long forgotten what the learning task was about. And feedback? The chance to learn from and apply feedback is long gone. What a waste of a learning opportunity!

When my husband and I first got married, I had moved from Melbourne to Sydney. We had a long distance relationship, so except for long weekends and holidays, we had never spent long periods of time together. When we were together it was a whirlwind of fun dates, visiting friends and making long term plans. Once we settled into a house together, we quickly had to adjust to the rhythms of everyday life. Having lived on my own for many years, I was self-sufficient. If I was thirsty, I got myself a drink. If I felt like eating drive-thru Maccas for dinner, I would. If I had an opinion to share, I would just roll it on out, even if my husband was halfway through talking.

I was pretty much oblivious to the fact that when you are married, it's good to show consideration to your partner. Offering them a drink when they're thirsty, not just thinking about yourself at dinner time and being respectful of their thoughts and opinions. The day came when my husband had had enough and decided to give me feedback on my behaviour. He pointed out the selfish things I was doing and told me how it was impacting him.

Imagine if, at this point, my husband gave me his feedback and then that was the end of the discussion.  Imagine if he didn't give me the chance to reflect on my actions and change my behaviour. Imagine if I only had one chance to do things right and I lost it. End of story. End of marriage.

Of course, that's not how relationships work. Naturally, (after a heated argument) I apologised, and reflected on my husbands feeedback.  I wanted to improve my behaviour for the good of our marriage. Fortunately, I have become more considerate of my husband over the past 11 years. Feedback is a waste of time unless you actually get the chance to reflect upon it and have another go at getting it right.

It's the same with education, if you don't give students feedback within a reasonable time-frame, the true impact of your teaching will be lost because you didn't give the students a chance to demonstrate what they have learnt, reflect on your feedback and have another go.

When our kids get out into the big wide world, they won't always get feedback and the chance to have a second go. But they're not out there yet. We are in the business of equipping students with all the skills they will need to get it right once they are out there. Let's give them some support, encouragement and FEEDBACK whilst they are in school. I can assure you our students will learn from it.




Monday, May 8, 2017

Dear Teacher/Dear Parent....About Naplan

Dear teacher,

I want to let you know that my child feels worried about NAPLAN this week. She was talking with a year four girl who told her that the tests go forever and it's the worst thing she has ever done at school.

I feel so frustrated that my child has to go through this. 

Four tests in three days. Really? Couldn't you even space them out?

What's the point of them anyway?

If you could quietly help my child with the tests I would really appreciate it.

From a year three parent.



Dear Parent,

Thanks for your note. To be honest, I don't like NAPLAN either. It upsets the children and makes them feel worried about school. I want my classroom to be a happy place where children feel safe to have a go at things and do their best without being worried they'll get it wrong. I don't think my team leader or principal likes them either, but sadly they are a necessary part of modern day schooling.

I am actually glad they are squashed into three days, it gets the whole experience over and done with quickly. The problem with NAPLAN days is that they interrupt our normal routine and as you know, children like their routines. I know it is a daunting thought to have four tests in three days, but to be honest with you, the Tuesday tests are over by lunchtime and the Wednesday and Thursday tasks are over by recess. They are really only a small part of our school week, and once they are over, the children quickly forget about them.

As far as the point of them - well there is actually a good reason for them. The information that we get about each individual child is not so important as the overall trend we are seeing in the school. State and federal government funding is influenced in part by NAPLAN results and help identify schools that need more support. The school is also able to look at the overall results and see if they are making progress in the education of students over time.

As far as individual results go, yes, we check that each child is within the bounds of what would we would expect for a child at their age. If a child is performing below what we were expecting, then the school leadership might check in with the teacher to see if the child needs further support in their learning. If a child is performing above what we were expecting, then we might explore ways to enhance their educational experience that meets their interests and needs. If your child is performing as we would expect, then it is truly business as usual and we consider their results to just be confirmation that things are heading in the right direction in their academic education.

The real problem with NAPLAN tests is that the results are made publicly accessible on the Myschool website. This leads some schools to feel anxious about how their results may appear to prospective parents. Sadly, NAPLAN tests may show how a school is doing academically, but it doesn't tell you about how the children are taught. It doesn't tell you what lengths the school went to in order to achieve their results. It doesn't tell you how happy the children are in the playground. It doesn't tell you about the community spirit that lives in the school. It doesn't tell you about how children with additional needs are loved and embraced by the school community. All it tells you is that in May 2017, this is what the average child at a given school knew.

My advice, give your child a big hug and kiss tomorrow and send her off to school as you always do. When the results finally arrive in September, have a quick peak to see if your child may need additional help or needs more challenges at school, and then chuck the results in the recycling bin.

Instead of worrying about NAPLAN, celebrate the person your child is becoming. Celebrate the fact that they are learning more and more everyday. Celebrate their perseverance when things are hard. Celebrate the kindness they show to the children who find school a real struggle.

Celebrate that we live in a country that wants to keep schools accountable for what they are teaching our children.

And maybe go out for pizza on Thursday night to celebrate the end of NAPLAN.

Kind regards,

your child's teacher

Thursday, May 4, 2017

AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS - PART 3A - The birds and the bees

Admit it - this is the post you have been waiting for. The one where I explain the quick and easy way to explain the differences between men and women, the changes a young person goes through in puberty and of course - sex.

Actually, I am explaining most of that in "Awkward conversations Part 3B".

Today I want to lay the foundations for open, honest, non-awkward communication with your children about their bodies and their genitals.

As you may recall from my introduction into awkward conversations, I mentioned that I learnt about sex from a book given to me in a brown paper bag and that was pretty much the end of my education at home. I didn't live with any brothers, so I had no idea what a penis looked like, except for the one in the book that was small and pastel pink!

My year nine science teacher, lovely as she was, kept on covering her cheeks with her palms saying 'this is embarrassing' as she went through sex ed with us. By the age of 18, I had decided that discussions of our bodies, let alone it's capacity for sexual intercourse was a shameful, embarrassing topic that really shouldn't be discussed. Needless to say, I was in for quite a few surprises when I began dating and eventually married my husband.

So I guess you are hoping we have got to the bit where I tell you in three easy steps how to talk about sex in a non-awkward, relaxed kind of way so that your child grows up to be a well-adjusted, respectful and respected sexual being?

Ummmm, no.

To be honest, some of the things I am going to suggest have not even been road-tested on my own children, in my opinion they are still a bit immature to deal with some of this stuff - so feel free to write back with your own comments and suggestions - who knows, maybe you can become my 'blogging side-kick'.


1) Think about your worldview. I know, I know, I talk about worldviews alot. However, your beliefs about where people originally came from and the value of humanity actually impacts the way you will view the human body and what we should and shouldn't do with it.

Personally, I want my kids to see their bodies as incredible creations, created by a loving God, to be enjoyed in lots of different ways at the appropriate time.

2) Let your children know about what parts of their body are okay to share and what parts aren't. I tell kids that we have hands so that we can hold hands with a friend, we have arms so that we can hug our friends, we have legs so that we can run with our friends. We have mouths to talk with our friends and so on. I then tell them that there are parts of our body that we are not meant to share with other people until we get much older. These are things that are covered by your undies and in the case of girls, covered by a bikini top. Your penis or vagina and breasts are not to be shared with other people as they are private to you. No one should ask you to show your private parts to them. The only time people should see your private parts is if your parents (carer) are helping you wash, dry or get dressed or if there is a medical issue. I then go on to say that there may be times when a doctor or nurse needs to see those private parts. That's okay, but your parents should still be with you.

In fact, when I go to the doctor with one of my children and they need to show a private part of their body to the doctor, I remind them that this is only okay because they have a medical issue and I am with them whilst the doctor is looking at their body.

3) As you may have already picked up, I use the correct anatomical terminology. Calling genitals 'boo boos' or 'doodies' or whatever other cutesie names you have made up undermines the importance of your body parts. Silly names result in silly behaviour with those silly body parts......and believe me, I have a heap of stories about the crazy things little prep boys get up to in the toilets - all totally innocent, but all because their private parts have been referred to flippantly.

4) Don't be awkward! If your child asks you a question, don't go all bright red or get angry and tell them they are not allowed to know. Give them an age appropriate answer. Don't go drawing diagrams or borrow 50 books from the library about it. Don't go giving them a complete explanation of how they were conceived, resulting in them rocking in fetal position under the table. Just say what you need to say in a couple of sentences and move on. You'll know when they are ready for more details.

5) Leave a couple of age appropriate books about the human body around. If your child is interested in the way the body is structured, they will seek those books out and ask questions. Hiding all evidence of human nakedness or sexuality and avoiding any discussion of sex will lead them to the assumption that sex is taboo which could have wide reaching ramifications into the future.

6) Man oh man, I am so sad that I have to say this, but here goes......

Our children need to know that there may be a time when someone asks to see or touch their penis or vagina. That person may be a relative, friend or stranger. Our children need to know that NO ONE has the right to ask that of a child. No matter what that person has promised or threatened, our children need to know that they must come and tell their mum or dad if this happens.

When explaining this to your child, you don't want to be all dramatic and scare them.

You could just be getting your child dressed after a bath and say "You know what? Your body is so special and it is all yours to look after. Did you know that no should ever ask to see or touch you penis? It is your body and I want you to look after it. If someone ever asks to touch your penis or asks you to touch their private parts, be really firm and just say no and move right away from them. Then I want you to come and tell me. I promise you, you won't get into trouble, I won't be mad. I just want to know that you are okay."

This is a message that you just want to casually give to your child every few months. Don't make a fuss or sit them down for a serious heart to heart, just slip it into the conversation when you are in the car, or hanging out at the playground or reading a story just before bed. This means that if someone does attempt to 'interfere' with your child, your child will know that they can say no and then move away.

I pray that our children never ever have to use our advice.

Well, having gone through awkward conversations PART 3A, I'm hoping that writing PART 3B will be a breeze!!!!

I'm going to go and vege in front of the tv for a while.......xxx