Just give me some feedback......

Readers who have joined my blog recently may not be aware that in addition to filling the blogosphere with my ponderings on kids and education, I also run a teeny-tiny tutoring business. It's called Exploring All Options. I spend at least an hour a week with each student doing whatever I can to make the experience of school less stressful for them. Once we reduce the stress, I then work alongside the student to ensure they start experiencing success in school.

It amazes me that teenagers are willing to come and sit at my dining table and tell a middle-aged woman, whom they've never met before, about how the experience of school makes them feel. It shows how much struggling students are willing to accept help, if only educators have the time to give them that support.

My first session with every student starts the same.
Louise: "Sooooo, tell me how you feel about school?"
Student: Looks down, mumbles
Louise: "I really want to know - tell me - what's it like?"
Student: It's hard/frustrating/I find it stressful/I can't keep up/I hate reading
The list goes on.

Louise: "Tell me about your favourite teacher?"

I loooove asking this question.
It tells me so much about the student.
It tells me about how they learn best.
It tells me how they view school teachers.
It tells me what attributes they value in a teacher.
It tells me how I will be able to best support them in our sessions.

Recently, I encountered a new response, and I was so excited to hear it.

The student told me about a teacher he had who gave him written feedback on his English work. He would hand in his English pieces, the teacher would look at the work within a day or two, write comments on how he could improve his work and provide an indicative final mark for the work. Then the teacher would return it to the student and give him the chance to resubmit it, incorporating rewritten sections in response to their feedback. Then the teacher would go through the work again and give it a final mark.

GENIUS

1) Teacher teaches
2) Student produces work in response to teaching
3) Teacher looks at work and gives targeted feedback
4) Student learns from feedback and has another go
5) Teacher is able to measure student's performance based on his ability to learn and apply their teaching.

GENIUS

I want to find out the name of that teacher, enrol my child in that school and put in a request for that teacher to teach my child every year of their High School education. I hope they can teach Maths, History and Science too, because I'll be asking for them to teach my child in every subject.

I cannot tell you how much I long for all my students to receive timely feedback on their work. I spend so many sessions with my students, encouraging them as they work through tasks ready for submission and helping them prepare for tests to be completed the following day. Each week I will ask, Have you got that assignment back? How did you go in your test? We'll log on and see if grades have been listed.......nope, nothing yet. Sadly, by the time marks are received, we've long forgotten what the learning task was about. And feedback? The chance to learn from and apply feedback is long gone. What a waste of a learning opportunity!

When my husband and I first got married, I had moved from Melbourne to Sydney. We had a long distance relationship, so except for long weekends and holidays, we had never spent long periods of time together. When we were together it was a whirlwind of fun dates, visiting friends and making long term plans. Once we settled into a house together, we quickly had to adjust to the rhythms of everyday life. Having lived on my own for many years, I was self-sufficient. If I was thirsty, I got myself a drink. If I felt like eating drive-thru Maccas for dinner, I would. If I had an opinion to share, I would just roll it on out, even if my husband was halfway through talking.

I was pretty much oblivious to the fact that when you are married, it's good to show consideration to your partner. Offering them a drink when they're thirsty, not just thinking about yourself at dinner time and being respectful of their thoughts and opinions. The day came when my husband had had enough and decided to give me feedback on my behaviour. He pointed out the selfish things I was doing and told me how it was impacting him.

Imagine if, at this point, my husband gave me his feedback and then that was the end of the discussion.  Imagine if he didn't give me the chance to reflect on my actions and change my behaviour. Imagine if I only had one chance to do things right and I lost it. End of story. End of marriage.

Of course, that's not how relationships work. Naturally, (after a heated argument) I apologised, and reflected on my husbands feeedback.  I wanted to improve my behaviour for the good of our marriage. Fortunately, I have become more considerate of my husband over the past 11 years. Feedback is a waste of time unless you actually get the chance to reflect upon it and have another go at getting it right.

It's the same with education, if you don't give students feedback within a reasonable time-frame, the true impact of your teaching will be lost because you didn't give the students a chance to demonstrate what they have learnt, reflect on your feedback and have another go.

When our kids get out into the big wide world, they won't always get feedback and the chance to have a second go. But they're not out there yet. We are in the business of equipping students with all the skills they will need to get it right once they are out there. Let's give them some support, encouragement and FEEDBACK whilst they are in school. I can assure you our students will learn from it.

Dear Teacher/Dear Parent....About Naplan

Dear teacher,

I want to let you know that my child feels worried about NAPLAN this week. She was talking with a year four girl who told her that the tests go forever and it's the worst thing she has ever done at school.

I feel so frustrated that my child has to go through this. 

Four tests in three days. Really? Couldn't you even space them out?

What's the point of them anyway?

If you could quietly help my child with the tests I would really appreciate it.

From a year three parent.



Dear Parent,

Thanks for your note. To be honest, I don't like NAPLAN either. It upsets the children and makes them feel worried about school. I want my classroom to be a happy place where children feel safe to have a go at things and do their best without being worried they'll get it wrong. I don't think my team leader or principal likes them either, but sadly they are a necessary part of modern day schooling.

I am actually glad they are squashed into three days, it gets the whole experience over and done with quickly. The problem with NAPLAN days is that they interrupt our normal routine and as you know, children like their routines. I know it is a daunting thought to have four tests in three days, but to be honest with you, the Tuesday tests are over by lunchtime and the Wednesday and Thursday tasks are over by recess. They are really only a small part of our school week, and once they are over, the children quickly forget about them.

As far as the point of them - well there is actually a good reason for them. The information that we get about each individual child is not so important as the overall trend we are seeing in the school. State and federal government funding is influenced in part by NAPLAN results and help identify schools that need more support. The school is also able to look at the overall results and see if they are making progress in the education of students over time.

As far as individual results go, yes, we check that each child is within the bounds of what would we would expect for a child at their age. If a child is performing below what we were expecting, then the school leadership might check in with the teacher to see if the child needs further support in their learning. If a child is performing above what we were expecting, then we might explore ways to enhance their educational experience that meets their interests and needs. If your child is performing as we would expect, then it is truly business as usual and we consider their results to just be confirmation that things are heading in the right direction in their academic education.

The real problem with NAPLAN tests is that the results are made publicly accessible on the Myschool website. This leads some schools to feel anxious about how their results may appear to prospective parents. Sadly, NAPLAN tests may show how a school is doing academically, but it doesn't tell you about how the children are taught. It doesn't tell you what lengths the school went to in order to achieve their results. It doesn't tell you how happy the children are in the playground. It doesn't tell you about the community spirit that lives in the school. It doesn't tell you about how children with additional needs are loved and embraced by the school community. All it tells you is that in May 2017, this is what the average child at a given school knew.

My advice, give your child a big hug and kiss tomorrow and send her off to school as you always do. When the results finally arrive in September, have a quick peak to see if your child may need additional help or needs more challenges at school, and then chuck the results in the recycling bin.

Instead of worrying about NAPLAN, celebrate the person your child is becoming. Celebrate the fact that they are learning more and more everyday. Celebrate their perseverance when things are hard. Celebrate the kindness they show to the children who find school a real struggle.

Celebrate that we live in a country that wants to keep schools accountable for what they are teaching our children.

And maybe go out for pizza on Thursday night to celebrate the end of NAPLAN.

Kind regards,

your child's teacher

School Refusal - The New Epidemic?

In 1998 I worked on a campsite in the USA. It was an amazing experience, living with a bunch of children for a week or two at a time. The camp site held around 200 children. There was one particularly memorable camp when around 25% of our children came to camp with Ritalin, a medication used for managing the behaviours associated with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I remember all the Camp Counsellors being surprised by how many children had been given this diagnosis and were subsequently medicated. I can assure you it was quite an action-packed camp with so many dynamic children gathered together in one place. This camp also coincided with a tornado warning, so we had 200 kids running wildly around the campsite in fear of being blown away.....Good Times!

When I commenced teaching in 2000, it was common to have one or two students in a class who had been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. We were sent to Professional Development sessions to assist us in developing strategies to meet the needs of our students. I must admit, it took me several years to figure out that every student is different and no one strategy would be the 'educational answer' for the needs of our diverse student population. 

Toward the mid 2000's, we were hearing more about children who had been diagnosed as being on 'The Spectrum.' The term was used to encompass a condition many would know as Aspergers Syndrome or Autism. The impact of condition upon children is many and varied. Once again we were sent off to Professional Development seminars to understand what school is like from the perspective of a student on the Autism Spectrum. 

Whereas ADHD seminars were about containing and entertaining the student. Spectrum seminars were more about providing a predictable, calm environment for students so that they were able to learn without distraction or distress.

In 2017, our schools have a small representation of students who have been diagnosed with ADHD and a significantly larger representation of student who have been diagnosed somewhere along the Autism Spectrum. However, we are now seeing a new condition impacting a growing number of students in our schools. The student known as 'The School Refuser.

THE SCHOOL REFUSER

Every parent has days when their child just doesn't want to go to school. Maybe they're sick, it's school athletics day, they have an exam or a school project due that day. The parent decides whether to push their child to go to school or to let them stay home. For most parents, regardless of their decision, their child will happily rock up to school the next day and carry on with their school life without a problem.

However, some children find it hard to return to school after an absence. Some may argue that the child is 'taking advantage of their parents' by conning them into having more time off, but this is rarely the case. For many families, school refusal has become a huge challenge and one that we must work together to combat. 

WHY REFUSE SCHOOL?

The original reasons for missing school are be many and varied. Some reasons could be

• illness
• avoidance of a subject due to incomplete work 
• fear of a teacher
• fear of other students 
• fear of becoming unwell at school
• mental health issues e.g. depression, anorexia
• Post traumatic stress disorder - induced by a factor either within or outside of school

The list is endless. 

What is common to all these situations is that having missed a few days of school, the student has found themselves in a position where the thought of returning to school is overwhelming. This is not a case of a child being stubborn and 'putting one over mum and dad'. Rather, the student is so fearful of attending school that they physically and mentally cannot go through the motions of 'going to school'. Unless the parent physically forces their child into a vehicle and drags them to their classroom, there is actually nothing a parent can do to at that moment to get their child to attend school.

What is needed is a long term approach. You cannot get a student who is refusing to go to school to suddenly 'cheer up' and jump on the school bus. Instead, the family need to gather people around them that will work alongside them to identify the factors that are causing this student to be fearful of school. Having identified those factors the student needs to be provided with the educational, physical, emotional and psychological support to take control of their fears of school. This takes time, patience, insight and a bit of trial and error. 

It isn't a matter of just sending teachers off to a Professional Development session to learn how to cater to the needs of a 'School Refuser'. Instead, we all need to be watchful of how the young people around us are coping with school. Listen out for any indication that they are finding school difficult and be quick to offer support before they become overwhelmed and fearful of the 'school experience'.

If you suspect your child may be developing a fear of school that is beyond what is 'normal' for a young person, take the following steps.

1) Encourage your child to talk about the highs and lows of their school day. Give them your full attention. Don't ever tell them that they are being silly or that they are 'just imaging it'. If your child is worried about school, then there is something causing it. Hopefully, just debriefing about school is all your child needs to do to stay motivated and happy with attending school.

2) Speak to your child's teachers. Ask them if they have noticed anything about your child. Let them know what you have observed and see if there are accommodations that can be made to make school less stressful for your child.

3) Speak to your family doctor about any possible medical or psychological causes for your child's distress. Doctors can also provide medical certificates to vouch for the genuine need for your child to have time off school whilst they lower their anxiety levels.

4) Look for other trusted adults who can support your child with their schooling. Exploring All Options provides this service. We sit down with students and chat about how things are going at school and then carefully address subject areas that have homework and assignments due. By working alongside a trusted adult that is not a parent, students can remain on top of their work, thus reducing the likelihood of refusing school due to incomplete work. 

5) If your child is refusing to go to school despite employing all the above options, seek out the help of a support worker who can spend significant time with your child addressing the issues that led to their school refusal. The end goal is to see your child returning to school with the support and strategies in place to keep them attending school.

Next time you hear about a student who is 'refusing to go to school', don't be hasty to judge the child or their parents. Instead, offer the family your time and support to get them through this difficult period.

If you are concerned that your child may be developing school refusal tendencies, call me on 0425 792 189 for a FREE chat. Sometimes we need to Explore All Options to ensure the best outcome for our children.  

Those techniques we learn to avoid meltdowns......

Chloe

This week, the pet population of our household increased by 300%. We have had Chloe for 13 years. On Thursday Simba and Tiger, two Scottish Fold cats, arrived. They had to be removed from Beryl's nursing home room at very short notice. (I'll save that story for another blog post!). We had also promised my daughter a 'baby bunny' (to be said in a cute, high-pitched voice) for her birthday. Her birthday is two weeks away, but yesterday we met the perfect bunny in Pakenham. We adopted it on the spot as there was no way I was going to do another 2 hour round trip to Pakenham for a 600gm fluff ball in two weeks time. My daughter named her 'Little Starfire'.

Little Starfire

So last night, we had Chloe, Tiger, Simba and Little Starfire all under the one roof. If we had been foolish enough to go out last night, leaving all the animals in the one room and inviting a pet-sitter over for the night - there would have been chaos! Within 3 minutes, there would have been two pets seriously injured, one cowering in the corner and one with a look of victory in their eyes. You could try and guess which animal met with which fate....but you couldn't be 100% sure unless you had spent time observing and getting to know the animals as individuals and in different combinations together.

Simba

In case you are interested, Chloe finds Little Starfire quite interesting and won't attack her. Chloe does not like Simba or Tiger and will chase them to the furthermost corner of the house if given the chance. Simba would like to eat Little Starfire, and Little Starfire is aware of this fact. Tiger is scared of Little Starfire but quite likes to eat her oaten hay. Tiger has had stomach issues in the past and must only eat 'certified cat food'. Fortunately, Simba and Tiger have lived together for 7 years, so they can tolerate each other.

Tiger

Trying to divide my house in such a way that each pet gets access to their own food and water supply at regular intervals whilst not bumping into a pet they would like to attack or are terrified of is quite an art. One, I must say, I am rather enjoying at the present time. (Okay, so I didn't have much else to do last night!) There is a certain satisfaction in knowing your pet population so well that you can avoid any 'unfortunate situations' by following simple guidelines and avoiding scenarios that will cause one or more animals distress.


Parenting is a little like that too. However, our children have a much greater range of responses to given situations. Nevertheless, by carefully observing our children over time, we can get a bit of an idea about what pushes their buttons and when a meltdown is imminent.

For example:

If we have a busy weekend, where we are out all day Saturday and Sunday, our children are both going to be tired and emotional on Monday and Tuesday.
                   Lesson: Plan our weekends so that there is 'downtime' for the children.

If we tell one of our chidlren that they are going to be able to play on the ipad after school and they gets home to find the ipad flat, they will become very distressed.
                   Lesson: Make sure that things our children are allowed to use are ready to be used when we offer them.

One of our children lives with a hearing loss and takes time to get used to the speaking voice of an unfamiliar emergency teacher, thus making learning difficult when their regular teacher is away.
                  Lesson: Speak with the school about ensuring preference is given to using familiar teachers when an emergency teacher is required.

As our children have gotten older, we are allowing them the occasional drink of lemonade or frozen coke (gasp). We have noticed that if our children have a sugary drink plus something else high in sugar content, their voices become louder and their emotional reactions to things will be much stronger.
                 Lesson: Ensure that the children do not consume too much sugar in one day and be confident in saying 'no' to the children when they ask for that extra sugary treat.

These are some very simple examples.

For older children, you may notice that after they have a double period of English that they are more tired at night.
                 Lesson: Go to bed earlier the night before double English and pack extra low-GI snacks for school on that day.

Perhaps they have the habit of putting off assignments until the last minute and then have a household-stopping meltdown the day before the assignment is due.
                 Lesson: Regularly check to see what assignments are coming up and assist your student in setting aside time and space to work on the assignment. (This is where time with me at 'Exploring All Options' could be handy!)

Maybe they seem to feel tired and lethargic every time you have quiche - is there a food intolerance issue?
                 Lesson: Go and chat to your doctor about possible allergy testing options.

The list could go on and on. The message is - if you are finding your children responding in ways that are less than ideal, take note of what happened in the hours before the incident. Over time, you may begin to see a pattern and be able to adjust your routines or talk to the school about how things can be altered to lessen their distress and the impact these situations have upon the whole family. There are some things that our children just need to learn to cope with, but there are a whole lot of things that we can do to make their lives much easier too!


If you would like to chat about any concerns you may have with your child's behaviour, call Louise on 0425 792 189 for a FREE chat. I can help you explore some of your options.  0425 792 189

The best option is still not going to be easy

Today I helped a much-loved family member settle into an Aged Care facility.

It's a beautiful place. Lovely gardens. Bright, spacious rooms. Caring staff. Close to her friends, church and hairdresser. Her room looks so homely. It's full of her own things, her hand-made quilts, photos albums, ornaments. The place will even let her cats live in her room!!!!!

It was something that my family had been working toward for several months. We had been watching the decline of Beryl* over time. We had liaised with doctors and the local pharmacist to ensure she was on the right medications and taking the correct doses regularly. We installed a medical alert system at home. There were family members and neighbour's checking on Beryl every couple of days. But a major medical crisis late last year brought Beryl's independent lifestyle to a screeching, traumatic halt.

Seeing the impending crisis and knowing that we needed to be ready when Beryl needed greater care, my family had been discussing different scenarios. Was it realistic for Beryl to stay in her home? Did Beryl need to move in with one of us? Could we manage Beryl's increasing medical needs? Did we need to find an Aged Care facility for Beryl to move into?

Having looked at the situation from every conceivable angle and chatting with a variety of medical professionals who were working with Beryl, we knew that our only option was to locate a suitable Aged Care facility. We didn't know where to start. What forms did we need to fill out? How much would permanent care cost? What kind of place would be suitable? How do we go about finding vacancies? 

To cut a 5 month story short, we found an Aged Care Consultant who listened to our concerns, understood our priorities in finding a suitable Aged Care facility, showed us the paperwork we needed to fill out and gave us a list of facilities to investigate. Employing the services of an expert in Aged Care was one of the best decisions we made. The fact of the matter was that no-one in our family are experts in navigating the Victorian aged care system. Between my family members, we are experts in education, counselling, administration and data management. We are experts in our own fields, but not in the field that Beryl needed. Trusting someone else to help us navigate the 'system' wasn't always easy and we had a few hiccups along the way, but we had to admit that we didn't have all the knowledge we needed to make the right choice.

So here I am, at the end of a very long emotional week. After looking at 4 different facilities that each had their strengths and drawbacks, we decided upon one that ticked every box. Even after we had moved in Beryl's favourite furniture and nic-nacs, I sent a text to my sister saying "we are doing the right thing aren't we?'. To which my she wrote back, 'of course we are, she can't go home because she can't look after herself.' 

When I spoke to Beryl late this afternoon, she was a pretty upset with me! She didn't like the facility we had chosen for her. She thought her room was small and dark. The people were unfriendly. She genuinely believes that we have made the wrong choice for her. However, Beryl's age and stage of life means that she can't possibly understand all the factors that we took into account in placing her in this particular Aged Care facility. She is responding to her feelings and observations from just a few hours in a brand new environment. She needs time to reconcile her expectations with the reality and to appreciate the benefits of where she is now. It's possible she may never appreciate why this particular place stood out as the only place we felt comfortable with. But you know what - I'm okay with that. My family have done our absolute best with the resources and information we had available to us coupled with our genuine love and concern for Beryl. 

Selecting the right educational option for our children is a similar experience. We know and love our children. We know how we want them to feel about school. So we ask for advice and hunt around to find the right place for our child to spend the coming year of schooling.

If your child has come home from school today feeling disheartened or nervous about the year ahead - remember how carefully you chose this particular educational option for your child. Remember that you did everything you could to give them a great year. Don't let a less than enthusiastic start to school discourage you, but keep encouraging, supporting and listening to your child as they get stuck into Term One.


*Not her real name

If you have genuine concerns about your child's ability to manage the pressures of the year ahead, give me a call on 0425 792 189 for an obligation free chat about the options before you.

   

It's the end of the world as we know it (And I feel fine)

In 1997, R.E.M. released a song called 'It's the end of the world as we know it'. It was released on the eve of a new century. Email was just coming into vogue, although only the most tech-savvy Australians had email addresses. Nokia was THE mobile phone brand to own - although most of us left our mobile phones switched off in the glove box as they were too heavy to slip into our pockets. Furthermore, the call rates were so exorbitant that we never made mobile phone calls unless our car had broken down or our parents were calling us to ask us where we were.

But man oh man, did we have worries back then. As the year 2000 approached, murmurings began of the Y2K bug. We were told that computer programmers had forgotten to factor in the turn of the century in their programs. On the 31st of December, 1999, when all our electronic devices clicked over to the 1st of January 2000 there was the risk that our computers would think it was actually the year 0000 and at that point they would malfunction. People had visions of bank account balances vanishing, their faithful IBM compatible home computers fizzing into oblivion and worst of all - the equipment in plane cockpits would malfunction causing planes to fall out of the sky. (If only we knew what 2001 would bring) As 1998, then 1999 ticked over - we all waited, wondering what exactly 2000 would bring. It could possibly be 'the end of the world as we know it'.

Those of us who are old enough to remember this era can look back and laugh about it now. There was so much hype, so much suspense, we were so nervous. Then it was the year 2000 - and the panic was over. We wondered what we were so worried about.

Sadly, we can have this approach toward Year 11 and 12. As students enter into the final phase of their secondary education, there can be a nagging fear both for parents and students that if things don't go well, it could be 'the end of the world as we know it'. A lower Year 12 mark could mean no hope of entering university, career options will be limited and there could be a risk of......(Insert dramatic music)....unemployment. We are so spoilt in Australia. We have access to such a huge range of government subsidized tertiary education options that we forget that tertiary education is not a mandatory step after Year 12. We feed ourselves and our kids the lie that career happiness lies in a job that requires a university degree. Yet I can introduce you to several lawyers who are not experiencing career happiness despite years of university study. Meanwhile, today I met a bunch of guys at JB Hifi who are blissfully happy in a job that only requires they have great customer service skills and can develop specific product knowledge on the job. What would you want for your teenager's future? Unhappy, stressed lawyer? or Happy, relaxed customer service provider?

We place so much emphasis on doing well in school, particularly in year 12, that we begin to believe that to not get into the chosen uni course could spell disaster. You may chuckle and shake your head and say 'no, no, it's not that extreme.' But tell me, how many of your friends have mentioned that their teenager has experienced at least one 'meltdown' due to the pressure of schoolwork in the past year. Why are so many Year 11 and 12 students on medication for anxiety and depression? This is not how it should be. We are placing too much pressure on our students to do well and we are allowing our children to put too much pressure on themselves.

REALITY CHECK:

• Not all careers require that you complete Year 12 with a high mark. Not all careers require you to have even attempted Year 12.

• A great ATAR score is the not the sole determinant of a happy future. It may get you into a highly sought after Uni course - but is that what your teenager really wants? 

• There are several ways to get into higher education courses that are not solely based on your Year 12 results. Some tertiary institutions look at personal aptitude, skills and work experience as part of their prerequisites. 

• Year 12 does not need to be completed before a student's 18th birthday. Perhaps they need a break for a couple of years and can return to study at a local TAFE when they feel ready to commit the time that Year 12 requires.

• There are schools that focus on getting a student ready to enter into an apprenticeship whilst they are completing Year 11 and 12. The focus is less on academics and more on manual skills.

If I had the choice between watching my child battle with schoolwork-induced anxiety and depression versus taking a relaxed approach in Year 11 and 12, I would certainly choose the latter.

If you have a teenager in your household who needs help in lowering their stress levels and taking a more balanced approach to their school work, call me for a free chat. Louise, Exploring All Options, 0425 792 189.

Primary School Homework - Preparing our kids for what????

Imagine the scene......You are at the local playground on a summer afternoon, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the light breeze on your bare arms as your children run around the equipment with their playmates. Suddenly, your friend stands up and calls out to her kids, "Okay, its time to go now, we need to do 20 minutes of winter practice before dinner". Her children groan as they leave the playground and drag their feet toward the car.
"Hang on!" you cry out. "What's winter practice?"
With great conviction and passion your friend answers "Winter is only 4 months away. I don't want my children to be caught off guard by the cold weather. So every afternoon in February, the kids spend 20 minutes standing in the freezer department of the supermarket. Next month, we will stretch it out to 30 minutes a day. By May, they each hold a bag of ice for 40 minutes. Then, when winter comes, they will be totally equipped with the skills to cope with the cold weather"
"Are you serious?" I reply.
"Yes, and if you want your children to excel at coping with winter, you really should be doing the same. How else will they manage?"
Feeling momentarily inadequate in my parenting skills, I babble on about perhaps giving them an icy-pole on the way home and making them clean out the freezer for me. I even think about taking my kids out of the playground then and there to get started on our own winter acclimatisation regime.....But its an incredibly beautiful day, the sun is shining, my children are without a care in the world at this moment in time. When winter comes, we'll get out the winter coats, turn on the heaters and work out ways to be as comfortable as possible in the cold. I'll deal with that when winter is ACTUALLY here. For now, I choose to enjoy summer. Summer will be gone soon enough, I'm not about to wish it away worrying about winter.

I know, my story seems totally unrealistic. But this is actually the way parents approach homework. Parents breathe a huge sigh of relief when the Foundation students start their home reading program. The first spelling homework sheet is confirmation that the school is actually educating their children. By year one, homework is stretched out to a 20 minute exercise, gradually increasing in length until year sixes are doing anywhere up to an hour of homework a night. When I ask parents why they are so keen for their children to do homework, many of them tell me that it is to prepare them for high school. 

I grew up in an era where homework was rarely given in primary school. Perhaps I would take a poster home to finish the lettering in the title, maybe do a little research on the life cycle of a penguin....it was all pretty laid back. Then, I hit high school and I had homework to do. I hadn't engaged in a 7 year training program leading up to this moment, but I saw that I had stuff to do and I just did it. If I didn't do my homework, there were consequences. If I did it well, it was generally reflected in my results at the end of the term. I was too busy playing with my friends, practicing my netball goal shooting and riding my bike around the neighbourhood to fit in homework during my primary school years. What a childhood!

Many homework advocates give the following reasons for why homework should be given out to primary school kids. A) It reinforces the work that is being taught in class B) It gives struggling students more practice and C) It benefits students who need to be extended.
Let's look at this kids reasons.

A) Kids are at school from 9 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. If you subtract recess and lunch, they still have 5 hours of learning to do each day. That's 25 hours a week. I have a home-schooling friend who tells me it is possible to fit in all the essentials of the Australian curriculum into 4 hour blocks, 4 days a week. 16 hours total. Fair enough, larger class sizes and the extra activities that a primary school offers, you need a few extra hours at school. But surely, if the teachers can't cover their material in 25 hours, something is wrong.

B) For struggling students, primary school is HARD. All day they are concentrating, trying their best and yet feeling discouraged because learning doesn't come as easy for them as some of their mates. How is homework meant to help this child? If they didn't understand it at school, are they going to suddenly get it through more effort at home? Perhaps, but perhaps not. Why should these children have to be reminded of their struggles at home when they could be relaxing and doing something they enjoy instead.

C) The student that needs extension does not need the teacher to set more work for them. In my experience, students who want or need extension will carry out their own homework tasks. They'll head to the library and borrow every book ever published on dinosaurs. They will develop lists of interesting facts and even create posters on their chosen topic. Doing more of the same work at home as they have done at school will not extend a child, it will only keep them busy and prevent them from extending themselves.

Soooo, what are we to do about the infiltration of homework upon our primary school kids' lives? Who is asking for all this work? Believe it or not - it's not the teachers! Most of the teachers I speak to tell me that the only reason why they are producing homework sheets is because parents keep asking for more work for their child. Parents! PARENTS! The people entrusted with giving their children a joyful, happy childhood are asking for homework when it isn't actually necessary.

Perhaps we need to open up the homework dialogue with our fellow parents. Perhaps we need to take the pressure off our kids and let them just be kids after school. Something to think about - meanwhile, I'm going to take my kids to the park.

All good things take time....

I love my doctor. I first found out about her through a close friend. She and her parents travel 20 minutes, past multiple other medical clinics to see her. When you arrive at our doctor's clinic, you can be pretty sure that you will wait an extra 45 minutes or so past your appointment time in order to see her. Funnily enough, no one complains, or gets annoyed about it, because we know the truth about this doctor. She is REALLY GOOD at her job. She doesn't rush you in and out of her clinic to get through as many patients as possible. She sits, she listens, she ponders, she asks questions, she checks things on her computer, she reviews your medical history over the past 5 years, orders extra tests if necessary and then, and only then, she gives you her diagnosis. Her professional opinion is worth waiting for. It can be trusted as it is the product of time and consideration. No one minds waiting 45 minutes to see her, because you know that every patient is getting the benefit of her time and care. If someone needs more time, she'll give it to them, just as when I need extra time, she'll give it to me. As the patients accumulate in the waiting room, we just nod and smile at each other, we're happy to wait, knowing that everyone benefits when we give our doctor time.

However, do we afford the same privilege to our children? How often do we ask our children to 'hurry up', 'get moving' or 'c'mon'? We impatiently stand over our children as they wrestle with their shoelaces, not allowing them the time to tie them securely to last out the day. At school, we tell our children to hurry up and start working, without giving them the opportunity to ensure they have all their equipment. We don't give them time to mentally plan what they need to do to complete the task, let alone giving them adequate time to complete the task at their own pace. Then we reprimand the children for not giving their work enough thought!


They shovel down only part of their lunch as they don't want to miss a moment of precious play time. At the end of the school day, we wrestle our children into the car so that they are on time for their after school commitments and then we wonder why they are moving so lethargically across the gym floor!

We try so hard to fit the maximum number of educational and recreational opportunities into our kids' lives but as a result, they never ever get the chance to feel that sense of achievement that comes from doing just a few things well. Instead, they rush from one task to the next commitment, just doing enough to get by.

What are we achieving in always pushing our children?
Why don't we organise our mornings in such a way that the last 15 minutes isn't a frantic rush out the door?
Why must children always complete their work quickly?
Why can't we give our children more time to play?
Does it matter if our children don't join the basketball team AND do piano lessons?

Is it possible that we rush our children around because of our own anxieties for our children? Are we so driven by the desire for our children to do their best, be the best and achieve the best that we spend the whole day rushing them from one activity to the next?

What would happen if we just gave our children TIME?
What sort of story could my daughter write if she was given an open-ended time limit within which to prepare, plan and write her story?
What sort of maths problems could my son solve he was allowed to just work quietly at his own pace without been asked to call out answers as quickly as possible?
What games could my children invent after school if I wasn't standing over them demanding they complete their homework before they play?
What conversations could I have in the car with my kids if I wasn't distracted by the time and our potential lateness?

I have a suspicion, that if we gave our children more time, they would certainly do a smaller variety of things. But the things they did do would be more enjoyable for them and reveal their true abilities and talents - simply because they've got time to work on a few skills and demonstrate what they can really do.